Confessions of a lonely boy PART I...

<------------------------------------------------ This is how im feeling right now...

Hmm.. okok.. some of you may be wondering... why i never update that often anymore. Just to tell you that... ive hadnt any great experience to share to begin with and i hadnt had that much inspiration and the will to write anything interesting. All this while has been about me me me. Me, my life soo boring. come to think of it.. the past 2 weeks, have anything interesting happened?

Yeah, a new phone ok? And then we have school, normal lessons. uhuh... Anything interesting happening around me and my friends, nope. Anything interesting going on in my school? Nyadah. Any hot juicy gossip passing around? Zip! nothing at all... And thats what im feeling right now... Boredom. Exams are coming and im not being serious at all. Im supposed to be studying but look right here, im watching animes, and surfing the net, going out swimming. Swimming was ok, i went alone, no one to ask to come along anyway. Oh, now i just remembered, but i dunno when that took place. This past 2 weeks, time has been a blur for me.

Yeah, so as i was saying, i was with Cho Ching in the library. I think it was a thursday? Cant remember. Anyway, yeah.. we were studying microbiology A but after a while we were talking and not studying. How bad am i, how boring it was to be in the library scouring through your notes and nothing goes in. So off we talked, and i was surprised that we had a pleasant conversation.

We talked alot during that time, and everything under the sun. All im saying is that on that day, Cho Ching actually made my day by engaging in conversations. Ive rarely had intelligent conversations with someone and its nice to know who you can talk to when you just feel like talking without fear or trepidation. Its like i feel welcomed when i talked to him. He converse with me with nothing to hide and i like this kind of people. Who give attention to someone who is talking, and im not saying plain attention, i mean deep attention and then giving intelligent responses. Its a rare find to have someone to really listen to you and understand how you feel about something. Now i wouldnt have we have alot of things in common but i dunno... there is something special in him.


Other than him, i dont mind engaging in conversations with Wei San. Although she tends to talk more and not listen to you time and again, but when you talk to her and she pours out everything that she agrees on you on a particular subject, its nice to really sit back and listen. Sometimes, just by listening, you can sort out your own inner conflicts and hopefully find something he or she have in common.


That is why, if im left alone, maybe while having lunch, or any other time when im not doing anything, i think alot. And its true. A person with no siblings, tend to imagine things that are beyond someones comprehension or expectations. Like for example, if im left alone, i would be thinking on a myriad of scenarios on basically anything on whats going to happened in the future. And you know why, i have no boundaries. Talking is the only that can set my boundaries right. I love to talk. Not just plain blabbering or mindless conversations, but intelligent ones. One who uses his or her Emotional Quotient (EQ). I feel relaxed when i do that. How i would wish, i would be able to sit in the cafe, or in an alfresco stlyled cafe, drinking my favourite beverage that the cafe has and just talk to my friends.

At one time i have to release my emotional turmoil. And its hard to do it because its rare to find the right moment at the right time of the right person to talk to you when you needed most.
Nobody knows who i really am...i never felt this empty before and if i ever need someone to come along... who's gonna comfort me to keep me strong?


(and by the way, i will still never forget what the class has done to me, helping me in need and to syafiq, for giving the most sincerest "thank you" ive ever recieved in my entire life. Im glad to be of service...)