Me.

Tullast This is Captain's log, 10:51:00 PM

Monday, September 27, 2004

ARgh! I cannot Concentrate!!

Its monday, and already all my free time for the next few days are going to be taken up by unnecessary stuff!! Haiz! i cant get to study mode yet and already my whole week is gone! Why why why? Naze Naze?? Walau... bad mood already... NEwater and now, Pals Forum! bah! Until 10pm lor.. I can use that time to revise!

Tullast This is Captain's log, 10:55:00 PM

Sunday, September 26, 2004

Resident Evil 2, Apocalypse... Expect a sequel... again..

Ok, yesterday just watched resident evil 2, sneak preview.

Above average movie i would say. On par with dawn of the dead. It a typical action/horror movie. While it did not give much substance in terms of storyline, the action scenes in the movie actually provided the movie with just enough energy to drive the movie till the end... barely.

The storyline is somewhat predictable and thin. During the first 20 mins of the film you would generally get the outline of the whole story and where it will lead to in the end. Storyline is of no surprise in this movie.

However, the action scenes are good and fun to watch. It at least provide some entertainment for the viewer to watch. There are some pretty eyecandy and good special effects in the movie as well.

In the end, expect a sequel, the ending is almost like the begining of the third installment. You will feel abit of a cliffhanger there.

To sum it up, its a good watch. I would recommend it to my friends if they want plain action and violence.

I give this movie 3 out of 5 stars.

Tullast This is Captain's log, 11:28:00 PM

Friday, September 24, 2004

I PASSED MY MATHS!!

Today, for some reason and sheer dumb luck, I PASSED MY MATHS!!! I dunno why, but i was soo certain that im going to fail. Judging from how i did during the test, i must say that i really do not know how to do alot of questions. Really, i do not know how to solve alot of questions. The only reason i can think of why i passed is maybe due to the facts that i did not leave a question blank. In every questions, i at least wrote something meaningful and sensible so as to test my luck if i may get a mark or 2 out of the many marks allocated per questions. I got a D for the test and i think its really tyco to get it. I must have just passed or maybe the teachers may show some sympathy and give me sympathy marks for it and passed.

On friday, i participate in the Chinese Orchestra Concert, to be one of the host for the event. We have to wear a blazer on that day and i have to bring the blazer and wear half U standard to school. It was very tiring. I was at school for around 18 hours, the whole freakin day. The concert was at night and my lessons ends just as the event was about to start. So it was a rush rush kind of thing. But it was fun. I must admit that NYP's blazer has some standard and its pretty comfy, considering the extreme formality that you have to showcase during that evening.

During the event, or rather before the event, i was posted to carpark duty, meaning any buses with students in it, i have to direct them to the auditorium. Pretty boring job i must say. The busses dont come all at once and they come between looong intervals. Thus my job was pretty easy to begin with. When the guests have all arrived, i head to the auditorium to mingle with the secondary students that i was posted to. They were "friendly" somewhat.

Soon the concert start i just stand there and watch. It was a chinese orchestra concert and i really liked it. I must say that i have a small amount of appreciation of the arts of chinese orchestra. The solo singers and singers during the event were generally good, even though i dunno what they sing, because they all sing chinese songs. But when they play western music, like Lemon Tree, it was odd. Chinese Orchestra and western tunes dont really mix well. The Chinese Orchestra seems to be out of energy when playing those songs. The Mandala by Kitaro was my personal favourite because my dad was a fan of Kitaro's music. He has cds of Kitaro and i have heard that song before. My verdict: They played quite a good rendition of the original. It was a pleasant surprise. Kitaro must have been proud of us.

After the whole event when everybody went back home, the guests i mean. Me, Joash, Jamie, Mizael, Tze Hui, Eileen, Gad, and Gwen all took photos together. It was damn hilarious. All the poses that we took were goddamn funny...

Tullast This is Captain's log, 11:02:00 PM

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

MY BIRTHDAY!!

Yay today is my birthday! 22 September, Wednesday. Lots of surprises were in store for me during the day.

First of all, i would like to thank EVERYONE for making a difference in my life thus far and a BIG thank you to my class, who lifted my spirits this whole week! You guys are fantastic, never fail to impress me.

In the morning, while going to school, i was thinking and hoping at the same time that no harm would come to me during the my birthday. That was true, to a certain extent. I was not prepared for what they had in store for me when i arrived in school. First lesson, Physical Chemistry lecture. As always, i did not understand a SINGLE thing about it. As always i always have to spent the entire saturday reading up on it and try to make sense of the lesson being taught. Anyway, there he is, mizael bringing a HUGE present to the lecture theater and i was like OH MY GOD!! YOU FREAK! Why give me such a huge present!? Nevermind about the size. As soon as the lesson was over, there was a one hour break. Perfect timing. We went to macdonalds. There were not much people there. Soon as we settled, all of my classmates sang happy birthday song! OMG! As embarrased as i may be, nevertheless a BIG thank you! Allen gave me a delicious OISHI! chocolate cake that i enjoyed thoroughly. He also brought a candle from a church and lighted on the table. So funny! Another THANK YOU! Soon, it was time to open the present. I was trembling. What could be inside? Then it was a fantastic ferris wheeled type of photo frame. It can rotate and look at all the photos one by one by rotating. A real piece of art and the picture they inserted were all photos of the classmates, taken during the time in school! That was one of the most meaningful gifts ive ever recieved and it was truly one of the most thoughtful ever. Simply amazing. A BIG THANK YOU to the present. Now, ive put this photo frame somewhere, where ill can come across it and take a look every now and then and that alone is enough to tell me that you guys are simply the best! You have given my renewed energy to come to school to hang out with you guys! Fabulous!

Then Cho Ching gave a present that i actually needed! Guess what is was? It was a personal mug with my personal astrological sign! It was fantastic!! Also comes with it is a small little book about friendship! This was the first time i got such mini books. Normally i would just see on sale in giftshops but now i actually have one. Inside this book was full of inspiratinal quotes that i really liked! Thanks Cho Ching! It was one of the most meaningful presents ever!

Then after that, when we were about to go off for our next lesson, weiyun, gad and gwen gang gave me a peculiar gift. It was a bottle of perfume or more appropriately put it, a vaporisor from made by Adidas. A really luxurious gift i must say. Nevertheless they have picked a really good fragrance! Not strong, subtle yet tingling for the nose. Its very hard to describe the fragrance but it was something that i would use it for certain, since ive never fancied using perfume when i go out or anything. Well, this is the perfect opportunity! THANKS AGAIN EVERYONE!

During the IMB lecture, before the lesson starts, that mischievous mizael actually told the teacher to made a special request to put up a birthday cake on a ppt presentation and to congratualate me on my birthday to the whole lecture theather with other people from other class!!!!! I was sooo damn embarrased!! My classmates sang a birthday song like theres not tomorrow! I really had no place to hide my face from then on...

Last surprise, during Comm skills lesson. Suddenly Christine Ong congratulated me on my birthday and i was shocked! I dunno how she knew about it, but it was great nevertheless. THANKS!!

Tullast This is Captain's log, 6:48:00 PM

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Im tired... Week of emotional turmoil...

I dunno how to begin, but this week has been a tough week for me. My strength depleted, my determination long gone. What have i done to deserve this? The wheel of time is turning. It would be a matter of time before the class falls apart, leaving me at the seams. It is soo hard to keep it together. Everyday i have to deal with problems, problems that doesnt concern me. However, im a class rep, these problems are my problems, but why am I the last to know? Do they not trust me? These web of lies and facade is so thick in the air, that even i fear to venture into. But i must face them. How do i do that? Im tired, im tired of being a class rep.

Why cant i be normal? Why must i be special, and miss out on all the previliges that my friends have to enjoy as a normal classmate? Is this what a king suffers when he lead his people to the extent that he hates them, abandons them and ultimately force them to respect him? Do i really want that? I do not think so. But the barrier so obvious and i cant remove it. There are soo many problems right now. I would like to face them head on and help my fellow classmates in thier problems, but how can i do that if they refuse to approach me? Have i failed?

Class rep, a job i love and hate...

It pains me soo deeply when i see you show animosity and hatred for another classmate. Everybody in my class, they are all ive got. They are all my friends and its not my character to side with anybody. I hate siding with somebody. Its even more difficult to be non-judgemental in a heated situation. Im soo tired being the middleman, seeing 2 points of view to no end in sight for a solution. And yet why do i feel soo left out. Why do i feel that im the last to know? Is it because i have a rank? Is it because i am a class rep? Is that why you chose to avoid me and treat me nothing better what i deserve?

Right now, there are soo many problems in the class, and many more that i can foresee in the future. My gut feelings dont lie. Ive made up my mind a long time ago to never abandon my class in times of need. I dunno how long i can keep up with that frame of mine, considering i feel underappreciated at times. Leaders are meant to lead, not recognised. True to the core. But hey im a human being too. I have problems also. Who should i seek, if no one seeks to seek me?

Today id like to thank some of my old classmates who to my surprise, greeted me a birthday greeting. It was totally unexpected and that alone, coming from an old friend whom i was not close to them was enough to make my day (not like there's anymore left of the day, since they greeted me in the evening). I think thats one of the best birthday greetings i had so far.

Also id like to thank Syafiq, for also lightening up my mood today. Though you may not see it that way, Syafiq so far is the only person who acknowledges and appreciated what ive done to him, helping him, during his truly difficult time. Im glad that i helped him. I dont care what he'll do to me in the future. But at that moment, he said such a simple and powerful word. "Thank You". That is enough to make my day. And as the days goes on. Ill never forget that. That is enough to keep me going, enough to tell myself that whatever i do, im going to make a big impact in their lives, just like what ive done to Syafiq. Whoever you are, i am there for you.

When I wake in the morning,
I want to blow into pieces.
I want more than just ok, more than just ok.
When I'm up with the sunrise
I want more than just blue skies.
I want more than just ok, more than just ok.

I'm not giving up, giving up, not giving up now.
I'm not giving up, giving up, not backing down.

More than fine, more than bent on getting by.
More than fine, more than just ok.

When I'm wet with the sunshine.
I want more than just a good time.
I want more than just ok, more than just ok.

I'm not giving up, giving up, not giving up now.
I'm not giving up, giving up, not selling out.

More than fine, more than bent on getting by.
More than fine, more than just ok.
More than fine, more than bent on getting by.
More than fine, more than just ok.

More than oceans away from the dawn.
More than oceans away from the dawn.
More than oceans away from who we are
More than oceans, more than oceans, yeah.

More than fine, more than bent on getting by.
More than fine, more than just ok.
More than fine, more than bent on getting by.
More than fine, more than just ok.

Tullast This is Captain's log, 7:02:00 PM

Friday, September 17, 2004

Results! Not too bad... not too good either.

Yesterday the results were up. I went to check and after that, i got mixed reactions. First of all, my aim for results was to get at least 2 A's and 2 B's in the 4 core modules. They are IMB, Microbiology, Physical Chemistry and Inorganic Chemistry.

A's were Microbiology and IMB, and this was expected as i could do the paper without much difficulty. For the inorganic chem and physical chem, i didnt set myself too high a goal. All i want was a B in both of the modules. However, i got a C for my physical chem. I missed my goal! I wasnt too happy about my results neither was i too dissapointed too. In the end, im "kinda" satisfied with my results and it makes me realised that i need to concentrate more on physical chemistry.

As for my elective, which is Japanese language, i expected to get a B, since i didnt put extra effort in aiming for an A in the begining for this semester. I feel that i just need to work alittle harder to anticipate more challenges in Japanese class right now to at least maintain that grade.

For maths, results were not up yet. It would be a miracle if i could get a D. But i think most likely i would fail. Anyways, i must start to really put some effort at the already faltering effort ive put in my maths. ARGH! I hate maths soo much! Its not the teacher, its my ineptability to grasp the concept in maths! Certainly one part of my brain is seriously weak in processing mathematical questions.

"Whispers everywhere, for I know naught. Seeds of deceit is taking root. Shadows of treachery and betrayal are on every corner. I must be wary..."

Tullast This is Captain's log, 7:03:00 PM

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Today, bad weather. I went to my old friend['s house to get reacquainted. We didnt do much, just talk and he did his stuff, drawing and drawing for his project, while i read and read some of my microbiology stuff. Then it started to rain... HEAVILY! My shoes were wet, my jeans were wet and my bag was wet! Luckily my bag is waterproof and everything is safe. (Note to self: Buy a bag, waterproof bag is top priorty. When i reached school, i realised that i did not bring my handphone!

I felt really blind and all my senses dulled today because i didnt bring my handphone. I know im supposed to my some of my friends in school but i couldnt contact them. When i had lunch, alone, met syafiq in the library. He was doing research paper using the computer in the second level of the library. Then i head to the venue where the talk on conflict management is to be held.

Upon reaching there, FINALLY! I met all my friends. Then suddenly they approached me with a worried face. I thought something bad had happened. But they were actually worried about me! They actually sent numerious sms but i didnt reply thinking that something had happened to me, but i told them that i didnt bring my handphone. They were sooo relieved.

Today didnt managed to go to the talk because we were given lower priority, since we had, as a class attended the previous talk, on BGR. Some of us were upset because some of us actually went there very early to reserve spaces to ensure that we could be in the talk. But in the end, the counselor who was there, told us to wait and allow other people who never had a chance to attend a talk to allow them to go first. In the end none of us went because our class were sooo united then 1 didnt managed to be allowed in the talk, none of us will go. So in the end, none of use go for the talk.

Yesterday, Mizael, Jamie, Joash, Gad and Tzehui went to my house to play Sims 2 that i bought. Before that, i thought we were stranded at yio chu kang because that was a disruption in the train service. But actually the disruption was only towards the city and not towards Jurong East, via woodlands. So off we went and they went to my house.

Then they started playing sims 2. The character creation that Mizael created was soo funny. We enjoyed alot during the character creation process. We made a mother a father a brother teenager and a baby girl. The father very lao ah pek but the mother very sexy, almost like a bitch. At one time we almost made the facial features to that of Miss Low, our maths teacher. It was hilarious! We had a good laugh. We then commented on alot of things and each of us contributed a little bit to the overall look of the family. Then we "cheated" on the game and get alot of money. AFter that we build a HUGE house , 3 storeys altogether.

During the game, got a a new woman then the lao ah pek make friends with her as if cheating on the wife. The lao ah pek go help the woman on the swing then the mother of his wife watching tv. If the game goes on any further i thing the whole family break down ah.... The father mother divorce ah... The baby go adoption service.

The baby is more funny. she would crawl nowhere else but the toilet, always going to the toilet bowl and playing with the water. It was soo hilarious. Before we played, we took a family photo. It was very sweet the brother holding the baby. soo funny....

Tullast This is Captain's log, 4:28:00 PM

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

SIMS 2!!! YEAH!!

Finally! It has hit store shelves all over singapore and i finally got a copy of the game!! Got it on the day of release! WOOHOO!

Played the game, first 2 hours, went through character creations and some advance tutorials. IT WAS GREAT! Im already enjoying it to the fullest and this game will defintely keep my interested for a very loong time. I think one of the factors that will keep me glued to this game is the family tree and family in heritance. Now i can make sims and grow them and make them marry each other have kids and thus the legacy of the famity lives on! Isnt that great! I spent more than an hour just doing 1 character during the character creation page and it was hell lot of fun trying different conbinations of looks, style and attire for my sims in a most infinite number of ways that can customise your sim to be extremely unique!

3 neighbourhoods and i mean huge ones, more than hundreds of houses you can build upon and an incredible new feature! The community plot! This community plot is where you build shops, supermarkets, restaurants, discos, and many more for your sims to commute and shop for apparels, stock up food in the fridge or just plain socialising with friends! An amazing feature that lets you customise and build your community areas to your own liking.

God i got soo much to say, soo little time. Midnight already.. need to sleep. Chiao!

Tullast This is Captain's log, 1:12:00 AM

Monday, September 13, 2004

Incredibly busy weekend!!

Whoa, no rest down here, after the common tests, it more work work work. Such is a life of a Molecular Biotechnologist. I have 3 reports to finish, Introduction to Molecular Biotechnology project to finish and present and lots of Self Directed Learning stuff to learn and study! I certainly have to keep up and couldnt afford to let my guard down.

The presentation for the IMB was done this morning. It went very well, with some praises from the teacher. It was a bit too long, but we managed to wrap up everything pretty well and indeed it was fun doing it. Yesterday we did an impromptu survey while doing our project at Yishun, Burger King. We wrote down the survey questions, head towards Bishan to photocopy 25 copies and started doing and asking the public to do the survey. It was tiring indeed! We managed to get good data and statistics out of it and the effort was well worth it.

Monday, back to school, no break. It really hard to restart the engine and despite all that, i really need to restart real quickly. Another 6 weeks and its the BIG ONE! The semestral exams will come in no time and i need to prepare right here right now.

Common tests over, now its time for the results. The teachers said that the results will be up on the notice board after wednesday. 48 hours more to go. I hope i did well...

Tullast This is Captain's log, 3:46:00 PM

Saturday, September 11, 2004

Yay!! Its Over!! For now....

Finally, my common tests are over. Friday was the last day of the commong test period and that last paper was Maths and Japanese Reading Test.

I dread Maths. Gonna fail for sure. It would be a miracle if i could scrape through at the 40 mark range. It may be possible but its a very very very slim chance of getting a passing grade, 50. Well at least i tried my best. I really do and i tried to do every questions in the paper. Although some questions were beyond my comprehension, i still did, hoping to gain 1 or 2 sympathetic marks.

That done, it was Japanese reading test. Before that, our whole class wear the class t shirt!! Well, almost. But it was great! The feeling was great! I really love 0402 for being soo sporty and "on". We looked great together and when a whole bunch of us were walking towards the South Canteen, that is the other side of the school. I can really see head turning and eyes scanning at us wherever we walked. Some of them just stood there looking at us. But it was a great feeling. The feeling of attention, even the tiniest bit, made us really stand out from the normal crowds.

After that we went to the library, read some novels and then on to my japanese reading test. The japanese reading test was quite difficult i must say. There were alot of Katakana phrases that were quite hard to read, considering that i just learnt the whole table on Katakana characters. I managed to finish all 5 sentences, stumbling quite a bit here and there. It was a relief that it was over. the teacher, not our jap teacher, another one, a lady. She was sooo japanese and her english was soo hard to comprehend. She has that solid and stern looking face. During the oral, it was hard to concentrate because of her prying eyes that soo distracts you and it makes you feel soo nervous that you just find it hard to concentrate on the characters and make sense of what is written. Anyway, that done i dont think ill do too well nor do too badly because hey, i finished reading all the 5 sentences. There were instances where i was fluent. Just then nerves thats all and partly the teacher.

Went back home, did "something" to synergise and renew myself again. After that i recieved this letter from the National Library Board, saying that a book was waaaay overdue and that the book has to be returned. BLOODY HELL!! I have already returned that book and they say that ive not returned the book. I borrowed the book at sunplaza but returned at Civic Center, Causeway Point. Now i have to spend my weekend, dealing with these kind of people, negotiating to them that i really did return the book. If i fail i guess ill have to pay the full amount of the book (i think and hope not).

"The past cannot be changed, the future is still in your power."

Tullast This is Captain's log, 1:58:00 AM

Thursday, September 09, 2004

Yesterday and Today

Yesterday after my inorganic chemistry test, my classmates and i went to ang mo kio hawker center to eat lunch. It was great. After the 6 of us in one table shared this HUGE Ice Kachang for only 3 bucks. It was so HUGE that even 6 of use couldnt finish it. It was well worth the money because it was so HUGE and delicious. There were soo many atapchis and so many different kinds of flavouring. The first time i tasted ice kachang with chocolate flavouring and it tasted GREAT! OISHI!!

It is a must to recommend that desert stall to all my old friends and its well worth the price.

While i was having lunch with Sindhu, Hock, Joash, Ben, and Lilies, we were talking alot of stuff like theme parks, which is the best theme parks. We talked about escape, wild wild wet, movie world, dreamworld and all the "worlds" that they have gone to. I was sooo envious that Sindhu actualy went to Universal Studios! ARGH!! That is the THE place that i sooo wanted to go to. I did went to Australia and went to all the 3 worlds. It was the greatest moment of my life!! I simply love it there, the people, the whether everything!

We then talked about where we should go as a group overseas. Some thought of Bali, Phuket, Thailand and sorts. It was great.

After eating, went to arcade. Some of us went to play pool while the rest played arcade, some stupid games and some shooting games. I spend a bomb over there. But it was fun, we has laughs and sorts.

Today, almost the same thing happened today, but this time, it was Causewaypoint. We went to the food court and i hate western dishes, seafood, at this new stall that was recently opened. It served fresh seafood, Australian style! And indeed it was truly australian style. While i was there at surfer's paradise, Gold Coast, we ate nothing but seafood, fish and chips and the likes for lunch and dinner for 3 days. it became a little "sian" after a while, but nonetheless, the seafood are great. It was one of the best. Those australians really knew how to cook seafood to perfection. While i was there, the food was expensive, a family of 3 to a seafood restaurant could easily fork out 120 bucks for a seafood dinner. But the serving was huge, the crab was humongous, the calamari soft and chewy like gummy bears. The batter on the fish was mouth watering.

ok back to the topic, after my pleasant lunch and it was truly a surprise that it was good, we had to arcade (AGAIN!) and played some games. We played the table hockey 3 vs 3 and it was hectic chaotic and noisy. It was soo funny, we did many lame moves and stupid tricks. In the end our hands got bruises due to the smacking and hitting at each others hands! But it was worth it for the fun of it.

After that , we went to the library on the third floor, was a little too noisy got kicked out went to the fourth floor, kids section and gathered again. This time they have NO right to kick us out because that level were mostly where all the kids are, running and playing and shouting and crying. Some of us then picked up books and tried to convert them to hokkien. Though i dont understand much of it, but by the sounds of it, it was really crude and funny. Ive heard hokkien conversations and for them to traslate a perfectly written book to a hokkien conversation it was absolutely ridiculous. It was really hilarious.

"Friendship needs no words--it is solitude delivered from the anguish of loneliness."

Tullast This is Captain's log, 5:25:00 PM

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Tullast This is Captain's log, 11:37:00 PM

Finally Its over!!

After almost 5 hours in the lab, listening to all those presentations made by my classmates and of course presenting our group's own presentation, it has all boiled down to grades!! Finally!! Its Over!!

The time it took for all the groups to present thier topic was long, especially my group's presentation. No doubt that our's was the longest. We couldnt help it, it was simply too much for us to say and too essential for us to leave it out. Nevertheless, my group, the presentation overall has recieved an A- grade, which was what i intended to get, generally an A.

All the effort that we put into was all paid off based on what i feel and getting an A for doing a very broad subject and condensing it like a (insert vocabulary here) is a good effort nevertheless.

As for my own individual presentation, i got a B which was pretty satisfactory. I didnt intend to be the best speaker of the class, because, im not and for me to confortably speak publicly to an range of audience really pays it off. I was marvelled at my ability to stay calm while presenting my powerpoint slides. The experience of speaking publicly all those times really paid off. Safe to say, im no longer afraid to speak publicly anymore. Its the experience that counts for me, not the grade.

That done, im incredibly relieved that its all over. Doing all those Korean thingy all the time its really really getting on my nerves.

For the group members who are in my group, you did wonderfully and im proud and honored to be working with you all and your performance out there was outstanding and professional. Im really glad the everyone works hard in reaching thier own respective goals without sacrificing the goals of other group members as a whole

(haiz, you know there is this old saying. You have a beautiful rope, you cut in half and attempted to retie it again into a single rope. the rope will never be the same, because there is that ugly knot over there. As for me, i can only hope that time itself will heal it and all i need is patience. The power of friendship is beyond comprehension)

Tullast This is Captain's log, 6:24:00 PM

Monday, September 06, 2004

Project, Communication skills.

Today, went to mizael's house to complete the Communication skills project on Korea. It was tiring. Tomorrow is the presentation. Such a short notice, jst recieved the new from "The One" this morning while i was still asleep. The presentation was pushed up from wednesday to tuesday and thus we have to sacrifice some of our time to do it and as well and rush to finish up the minor details. But it was worth it. Nothing much to say already i guess. I hope you like the new pics i put on the the blog...

Tullast This is Captain's log, 8:13:00 PM

Sunday, September 05, 2004

High Fantasy...

Im a very avid reader of fantasy, i love to read books on fantasy. I dont call myself a bookworm when it comes to reading books because for me reading is not a necessity but an entertainment, pleasure and relaxation. For me to completely engrossed in a book, there can be one genre, and that is fantasy.

I started reading fantasy books into consideration, meaning making reading as much as a routine as possible when i was in sec 2. I realised that my english werent so good at that time and if i dont buck up on english, im going to have a hard time and probably suffer when im past O levels. Having thought through what are the best books to read that will improve my english and at the same time, provide joy, i thought of fantasy. Ive always loved fantasy. Ive played Magic the Gathering, RPG games, Dungeons and dragons pen and paper RPG games before. So i thought, ive played the game, have i read any of them?

I can still remember my first fantasy book that i picked up in the library. Little did i know that the novel that i picked up would expand to almost 20 books in sequels and spinoffs and up to this day, ive read them all.

Written by R.A Salvatore, the first book that would become a lunching pad for one of the most successful books in the world of fantasy is entitled Homeland. The story takes place in a world called "The Forgotten Realms" and about this protagonist, a Drow, or simply put, an elf of the underdark. This mysterious race, vile and evil lives in an underground city, called Menzobarrenzen. Cousins to the elf on the surface world, this particular race hates light and thier cousins on the surface. Anyway, coming back to the main character, Drizzt Do'urden, he was raised in a world full of evil and dominated by the female races. The society of the Drow is such a way that they have different clans or more formally put it, Houses. Drizzt is of House Do'urden, the 8th most powerful house in the city.The ruler of the House is Matron Malice. This society has a weird hierarchy and political system, in which the first and most powerful House rules all and each and every House despised each other and constant war rages on for centuries, in a neverending fight for the top position. As you might have guessed, the society is chaotic and the drow love living in chaos and on the brink of destruction and ill intent. House Beanre is the first house and the most powerful, with the military and arcane strength of thousands of drows, male and female and also slaves. Each house has the right to rout or wipe out another house so as to be able to climb the ranking ladder within the society. This means that each houses constantly wage wars and perform spy mission on each other and the house that has been destroyed leaving no survivors will consider that house extinct, and thus the other house will be able to rise up in ranks.

Drizzt in his first books talks about the life of drizzt when he was young, being weaned and taken care of quite brutally by his sisters who all gained alot of power within the heirachy system in the House. As a male, Drizzt have always been despised and brutally treated by the females and this comes as a double edge sword. Drows are merciless and killing thier comrade is almost like a daily affair. Being brutally treated, he has whethered the tough life as a drow.

I wouldnt want to elaborate further as the plot really thickens from there. But suffice to say, its a great book and a great series.

Apart from R.A. Salvatore, ive also read books from Philip Pullman, His Dark Materials Trilogy, Robin Hobb novels and also planning to read Margeret Weis and Tracy Hickman novels of fantasy.

The reason why i read Fantasy books is because fantasy has the descriptive power, meaning that the descriptions in the book regarding anything the author is trying to convey are really done in such a way that its very detailed. You can gain alot from the writings of fantasy, not the content however, but the way it is written. Since fantasy requires alot of imagination and visualization of the mind, alot of description is needed and that is what i like most about fantasy books. It also stirs up your imaginations and really provide relief from the hustle and bustle of reality.

Thats why i like fantasy... and still continues reading them.. (darn.. no time to continue.. next time then..)

Click for the picture of Drizzt

Tullast This is Captain's log, 11:17:00 PM

Simply Funny...

A few days ago, i was at sunplaza, and i happened to passed by this handphone shop, B1. As i was passing by, there was this lady, at the counter sitting down watching T.V. There werent any customers in the shop and she doesnt have any customers to entertain. Usually youll see lots of the this shopkeepers to do something else to occupy thier time, either by reading papers, magazines or simply watching tv. But this lady, whom i saw in that shop happened to do something extra, and its really really ugly in the eyes of a customers IF any customers happened to enter her shop...

While she was watching tv, her left leg was raised in the chair, some Ah Hiao at the coffeeshop, and not only that, she was clipping her toe nails!! I couldnt see her doing it because the counter was blocking it but i can assure by the sound of the "snap"snap"snap", she is DEFINITELY clipping her toenail while at the same time watching TV!! God, if i were to go to her shop while she was during that, i would think twice. So funny...

Tullast This is Captain's log, 8:51:00 PM

Wow... 0402 is really one of a kind.

Ive never experienced this kind of things before, that we would be so understanding of each other.

I really appreaciate your concern for me and your hopes that i would be happy again. I feel much better as a matter of fact after talking to Allen, straightening things out, apologising at my most sincere of apologies to him. He was surprisingly more understanding that what i would hope to be.

I really dunno how to put it into words but ill try...

During that time... i felt really horrible and the fact that my actions will lead to more severe consequence made me feel worse...Its like a domino effect and one by one.. knew about what ive done, how ive "let the cat out of the bag" and how it effected more and more people.. it made me feel worse. Im under the impression that, "oh no, ive done something wrong, now everybody would think me differently" and it just didnt made me feel any better.

And for me to apologise at that moment of a heated situation, was not right for me. Im a sucker at apologising face to face, ill get emotional and stuff. I dont usually express my feelings that often you know... who do i express my deepest of emotions to? I rarely get the chance to do that. Thats why im a sucker at it.

So thats why, i avoided you all, your messages, and everythign. I feel that this is the best way to remedy the situation. By not having me there and you all putting a facade ( a fake impression) during an unresolved situation, it would be better i would appear again, until the situation has been resolved and fully understood by all parties. Thats why i avoided you all, because i know ive made a mistake and by apologizing and making you understand me in the situation, it would be impossible because, the situation hasnt been resolved. It would be empty apologies...

Furthermore, ive not the strength to face you all, after what ive done, it was really really foolish of me and to see you all at this point of time, i would be really really scared, not knowing what to do, paralysed, embarrased beyond my control. The reason being, 0402 is all that ive got in my life right now and if seeing how my friends see me differently, it would be all too painful for me.

My greatest fear ( besides spiders... trust me, thier webs ugh!) is... losing a friend, or worse friends for this case. You have no idea how scared i am, to loose a friend just by doing somethign foolish and i dont have a wide circle of friends, 0402 is all ive got. I dont have any sec friends in our course, its difficult to me to make friends all over again from scratch without the support of anyone, its just like when im in secondary school, exactly what happened when im in sec 1, i was the only student from Peiying Primary to go to Northland Secondary and it freaked me out.

And the effort of making new friends especially in 0402 really paid off. I think we are the luckiest bunch of people to know each other in 0402. Ive never seen soo much unity in class than ever before, It is astronomical that knowing you after barely 9 weeks, i feel that we have known each other for years. Its a miracle that i get this feeling. And on top of that, you guys are soo understanding! Ive never seen people, or met people who are soo understanding, even to the people whom ive inflicted pain, you guys are really incredible. You are able to express your concerns to another person in such a level that i have never done so in my life.

As such, i must thank you, for making the healing process go much faster. I will be back on track as soon as i feel ready, and it will not take long. I just need to gather up my courage and patch back the "face" that ive lost.

wow...0402 is really one of kind.

Tullast This is Captain's log, 1:07:00 AM

Friday, September 03, 2004

Im screwed... ive ruined everything.

Im deeply sorry to anybody whom ive inflicted pain, it was unintentional.

If you are angry at me, i understand, you have every right to be.

To those who think that my actions were totally uncalled for, you are right... i was wrong to do that. My ignorance has caused you trouble. I am sorry.

For the consequence that has arisen from my negligence, i will face the music.

Any animosity and enmity that you might have towards me, i understand and i completely deserve it.

Please, im seeking solitude, i need to settle this by myself. I need time. Give me space...

I am sorry...

Tullast This is Captain's log, 6:41:00 PM

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Something that pops in my mind... while having a stroll...

I love taking strolls by myself, without thinking where i should go or what i should see, or what i should do. Whenever i take stroll, walking aimlessly, my mind really feels at ease, and i feel calm. Sometimes alot of conflicting issues just happens to subside and resolve by itself in my head. But of course, im the kind of person who, if left alone, and doing nothing, like strolling towards nowhere for example, my mind usually wanders off to incredible lengths, thinking about everything and anything that is in my mind. The human mind does great wonders...

Today i had a stroll, after i studied, well, not really studying, i dont really have the mood to study. I did study, but not much. Anyways, i decided to take stroll and i thought, which of the 5 Love Languages that is suitable for me or that i really liked? Having thought things over, i decided, Acts of Service and Quality Time is what i like most. Sometimes, whenever my friends help me in small or big ways, i really really appreciate what they have done to me. I would try to never forget the acts of kindness that theyve shown me. Sometimes when im stressed, or when my hands are full at so many task that needs to be handled and done quickly, or maybe i happened to be absentminded in something, my friends would help me. And that acts of service is really really appreciated. Im the kind of person who wishes to be independent, doing stuff by himself, trying to tackle the problem by himself or assuring himself that he can do it and doesnt need the help of others. Well, mistakes and mishaps do occur and its in that moment when my friends realised that the tasks is too much for me to handle and wishes to help me, i really really thanked them for what they do.

Quality time is as important as the first one that i mentioned. As you know, im the only child in the family and it can be very lonely, thus friends, those few precious people whom i call them a friend is the next closest thing that i have to a sibling, for companionship and thus any enjoyable moments that ive enjoyed with them all those times, no matter sweet or bitter, i treasure them soo much. Those quality time worth more to me than gold itself. If someone were to ask me to make a decision, money or friends, or, money or quality time, without doubt i would choose friends and quality time. Even if they give me all the riches in the world, i would NEVER trade friends for money.

Tullast This is Captain's log, 8:32:00 PM

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

AHO!! BAKA!! IDIOT!!

If you think that im insignificant and my absence during the event was nothing but air, YOU BETTER THINK TWICE!

Ive have been waiting and waiting for the promotion ceremony to arrive and for me to witness it from a ex band member's point of view and im pissed that i was neither informed nor am i invited for the event. Why is it that my other members knew about it and i dont?! Am i impossible to be contacted? Why, i am online all the time and i recieved NO WORD from any of you, Drum Majors and Band Majors of the current batch! I am not that busy to NOT attend this event that ive been anticipating for soo long! This ceremony means a lot to me!

You have no idea how i feel! I feel like a jerk, not attending this important even when I just graduated from Northland! its not that i graduated 5 or 10 years ago and already you have neglected me! What did i do to deserve this?! Ive shaped and moulded the band with my blood, sweat and tears and this is the kind of treatment that i get?! And when i return back to school during Teacher's Day, and i gently ask you why am i not inform, you just simply said oops? OOPS!? What kind of answer is that?!

You have no idea how much i still care for the band, despite me being busy with my poly life. Doesnt mean ive left means i totally forgotten about you all. If thats the way you see it, taking someone else for granted, im totally disappointed....

Cannot write anymore.. damn pissed, really trying hard to suppressed my inner habit of cursing and swearing at every sentence written..

Tullast This is Captain's log, 11:33:00 PM